Validating Feelings or a Soft Answer

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1

I heard an interview on the radio the other about validating your child's feelings.  As I listened and thought about what this mom and author had to say. I think there may be a little something to what she had to say. I also thought that her point was valid for not only children but any relationship.  We all want to be heard and understood.

I've told both my son and brother-in-law that the secret to talking to girls or women are feelings.  I know that I don't always make logical sense which sometimes drives my husband crazy.  But once he got the idea that I didn't have to make sense for him to care about my feelings.  I didn't always need problems solved or solved right away, I needed my voice to be heard.  I needed my feelings to validated.  That usually does wonders. 

So this author's point about children needing the same thing made some sense to me.  Especially when they are struggling even understanding their own feelings.  

I've already started trying this with Cameron. When he had a frustrated outburst over piano practice, instead of responding in annoyance I tried listening to him.  It seemed that taking just a little bit of extra time defused what normally would have been a rough practice session.  In times past I would relly just want him to put aside his feelings and jsut get his practice done.  In my mind the sooner he buckled down and stopped complaining or whining the sooner we would be done.

Is validating my sons feelings really giving him a soft answer as Proverbs tells us.  As my Pastor says, "It's hard to fight with a whisperer."